


blue

by Kalpa (orphan_account)



Series: sunshine [9]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Bunker Hill, Comfort, Cute, Death, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt and comfort, Near Death, Romance, Sad, Violence, arm loss, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Kalpa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hancock had seen a lot of bloodshed in his life.<br/>But Bunker Hill was more than bloodshed.<br/>It was a massacre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blue

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys !!! here's the ninth installment of sunshine, and im thinking there's only gonna be one or two left !!!  
> the last installment didnt get much feedback : /// idk how i feel about that ahaaaa  
> was it not good ? what about it wasn't as great as the others ? pls let me know  
> with this installment i decided to spice things up and told it from hancock's perspective   
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:   
> VIOLENCE !!!  
> also Jay is hinted at being suicidal, so if that's a trigger, just be aware of that. it's near the end and somewhat subtle.   
> also, none of you have ever seen what Jay looks like!!! so i have a pic for you guys!!  
> just click the link and it'll bring you to a pic of her !!!  
> i hope you enjoy this piece !!  
> link: http://weheartit.com/entry/217921895

Hancock had seen a lot of bloodshed in his life. He’d seen ghouls’ bodies lining the street after being kicked out from Diamond City, rotting and bleeding as some moaned and begged for help or death while others quietly accepted their fate. He had seen innocent people take a knife to their lungs, had helped wipe away the blood that bubbled out of their mouth as they stared at something he could not see. There had been many bullets put through bodies by his gun, by his finger on the trigger. 

But Bunker Hill was more than bloodshed. It was a massacre. 

Jay had woken him up a few days prior to then with her hair pulled up in a messy bun and her armor buckled to her skin, a tired look in her eyes as she gave a weak smile towards him. Under the soft glow of the slowly awakening sky, she had looked as though she were nothing more than a goddess sent straight from heaven. His admiration must’ve shown clearly on her face, because the familiar, soft smile she only wore for the peaceful moments shown brightly on her face, no longer tired. “Wake the hell up,” she had told him, shaking him lightly. 

“I’m up, I’m up,” he’d reassured her, sitting up in the bed while yawning. “Why the hell are you up and at em so early, anyways, sunshine?” he’d asked, genuinely confused. At that time, Jay was usually asleep and dressed in a t shirt and underwear, but never her armor. When they were in the Wasteland and traveling, she would be like how she was right then, but they were still positioned in Sanctuary. 

Jay looked troubled when he’d asked her that question, so he didn’t push it as she turned, licking her lips in thought. “I visited the Institute over the night, and they gave me a new task,” she’d explained, looking distressed as she’d crossed her arms and popped her hip out. The woman had run her fingers along her face, trying to keep herself awake. 

Hancock had raised his eyebrows, perplexed as to why she was so stressed. “Okay...another synth throwing a tantrum, another day,” he’d said, but Jay had shook her head, rubbing her jaw. 

“No, it’s more than that, which sucks ass. They want me to go to Bunker Hill, and kill Railroad and Brotherhood people and to return a few synths that ran away,” she’d told him, looking him dead in the eye. She’d looked coiled up and ready to spring, her foot tapping on the floor at a constant, fast beat. 

Hancock had narrowed his eyes, understanding that based on her body posture there was going to be more than just a few Brotherhood soldiers and Railroad members there. “How many assholes do we gotta deal with, blue?” he’d asked, hoping for a low number. 

Jay bit off some of her finger nail with a loud snap, and took a deep breath. “Well over a hundred.”

Hancock had expected a bloodbath when she had stated that number, when she had spent the entire night before storming Bunker Hill cleaning her weapons and making stimpacks by the dozen. He knew she was not prepared to end so many innocent lives all because of the Institute, and it was obvious she would take plenty of wounds just trying to pacify people so some lives could be saved. 

What Hancock did not expect was how many bullets he would fire, how much ammo he would lose, how much blood would cake the bottom of his shoes. He did not expect that vast amount of people the Institute had ordered Jay to kill just so they could retrieve a few synths. There was no possibility of comprehension on his part when it came to why they sent Jay to kill so many innocent lives just for a few runaway synths that wanted to live. It angered him, in all honesty. Why would they damage his sunshine just so they could reset a few fucking robots? 

Jay had been taken aback by the numbers, as well. He saw her eyes when she ran into the battle, hair back in a bun on the back of her head and gun positioned, ready to fire. She was thoroughly horrified, terrified of what she was about to see, to do. Her hands lowered her gun for a split moment as she took a deep breath, staring at the Vertibird flying around, the soldiers in Power Armor shooting as Railroad members duck and threw grenades. Standing there, watching the world burn before she added more gasoline, Jay looked small and scared, eyes wide with tears as she nearly dropped her gun.

Hancock ran over to her when the Railroad turned around, looking at her with confusion. No one knew of her alliance, and until Jay fired a shot they would suspect she was just coming over to see what was going on. Hancock was eternally grateful for that as he gently grabbed her shoulders, turning her to face him. Tears were streaming down her face as she stared up at him with wide eyes, breath ragged and labored as she tried to calm herself down. She reached up and ran her hands over her hair, shaking her head as she swallowed harshly. “I can’t do this, Hancock. I can’t kill all these people,” she sobbed, shaking her head. 

Hancock looked around and noticed that the soldiers had noticed her, and some were staring while others continued fighting. With a deep breath, he directed her into a nearby building where he helped her sit on an old couch. Jay’s entire body was shaking with her quick and short breaths, and he recognized the anxiety attack just as it was hitting. He reached back into his bag and pulled out a water bottle. handing it to her. However, her hands were shaking so badly as she wheezed from the panic enveloping her that he had to hold it for her, and help her sip down the water.  The ghoul rubbed her arms, shushing her as she sobbed and panicked. “It’s okay. It’s okay. We don’t have to do the Institute’s dirty work if you do want to, blue,” he reassured her, but she shook her head. 

“I-I ne...need to, Hancock. O...or else they’ll get...get mad at me and..and Shaun,” she explained in between wheezes, and in that moment, Hancock had never hated the Institute more. He had always hated them for what they had done to families and to his friends, for stealing people’s identities and ruining lives. But right then, watching Jay shake and sob, his hatred reached a new high. 

“Those fucking bastards,” he spat, looking away from Jay as he felt her worried and scared eyes on him. He shook his head as she reached up and gripped his shoulder. “Sorry...I’m sorry, Jay. But those...those  _ fuckers _ can’t come up and do their own shit. They send  _ you  _ instead. They instead wanna hurt  _ my  _ sunshine,” he hissed, and Jay reached up, taking his cheek. He felt warmth blossom in his chest at the movement, and turned to look in her blue eyes. 

If she had been panicked, it barely was shown now. She looked ready to kill, ready to go and run and fight like hell. Her blue eyes were steely and guarded, and Hancock knew she had blocked out every other emotion and was focused on the task. He had seen this in her multiple times when she knew she would have to kill. It never got easier to witness, however. But he said nothing and nodded at her. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a minute before reopening them. “Let’s go.” 

Hancock didn’t question her, and followed her out the door. Watching her fly through battle was both a scary and beautiful thing. Once Jay raised her gun and shot a bullet at a Railroad member, all hell was unleashed. She was no longer just a drifter speaking with everyone. Jay was now an ally of the Institute, and as bullets whizzed by them and they ran through the battlefield, Hancock was hoping Jay understood the severity of her decision to ally with Commonwealth’s boogeymen. 

But watching her hair fly and sweat drip down her forehead as she bit her tongue, hitting enemies with such precision Hancock was thankful he wasn’t on the receiving end, Hancock knew it didn’t matter if this was the right decision or not. Standing by her, pulling her down before she gets shot, shooting enemies about to hit her, keeping her alive was what was right, regardless of what others would think. He would rather go down with her, than watch her suffer from afar. 

Hancock didn’t know how many people he killed that day, but he knew it was more than he would’ve been able to count. It was a relentless, repetitive aim, shoot, run cycle that he and Jay fell into after the clusterfuck began. Jay had only had to use a few stimpacks, but he wasn’t as lucky. He’d gone through at least six, and was quickly approaching a seventh when the vertibird appeared, and a swear died in his throat as Jay ran out, ripping the pin out of the grenade with her teeth. Fear enveloped Hancock as she pulled it back and threw it up at the Vertibird, terrified that the grenade would blow up in her hand. It didn’t, thankfully, and the smoke managed to distract the vertibird ass she turned, making eye contact with him. “RUN!” she yelled, and he ran after her. 

The settlers at bunker hill were panicking and screaming, running for cover. Jay looked around, confused as she looked for their destination among the chaos. Finally, she found the cellar they were instructed to descend into and Jay yanked open the door. “GET DOWN!” she yelled, and Hancock quickly dropped down into the cellar. 

The sounds of guns being shot, people dying and yelling mixed together with the dust and dry air in the cellar as Hancock walked forward. A hand set itself on his shoulder, and he turned to the side, knowing it was Jay telling him she was ready to take lead. He looked down at her when she looked up at him, fear shining with such a subtle light in her eyes as she nodded at him. Hancock nodded back and she pressed forward. 

The cellar was no better than how it had been on the surface. The only bright side of the cellar was the fact that there were no Vertibirds, but there were plenty of Brotherhood Knights shooting at them with miniguns. They were mowing down reinforcements, and the synths were quickly getting killed as they closed in on Hancock and Jay. She was crouched beside him, hair sticking to her face as she breathed heavily. 

“Fuck,” she breathed, swatting her hair away as she tried to catch her breath. 

“You’re kicking ass, blue,” he reassured her, and she smiled a weary smile up at him. 

“You too, Hancock. Cover me, will you?” she warned, standing up to face the Knight. Hancock’s eyes widened in horror and shock at the sound of the minigun revving, and he knew that Jay had popped up even though she’d been perfectly aware it was definite suicide. A yell barely crossed his lips before it was drowned out by the minigun, and his hand wrapped around her shirt, pulling her down as she fell and hit her head on the ground. 

Jay’s eyes were wide as she lay on the ground for a few moments before scrambling to her feet, rage in her eyes. She didn’t say anything to Hancock, however, as she reloaded her gun, prepared to jump back up to her feet. 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Jay,” Hancock shouted as bullets pelted the wall above her. Her jaw clenched as she stared at him, but her words were stopped in her throat as a grenade was thrown in between them. The two were breathless, staring at the grenade for a split second before they understood there was nowhere to run but straight into the Knight. Jay looked up at him, mouth aghast as he laughed. He knew thought he would get killed by playing hide and seek with a fucking Brotherhood Knight. 

“Hancock!” Jay yelled, and he looked at her with a sad smile. 

“Yeah sunshine? Got any last second confessions?” he quickly shouted back, and she rolled her eyes, picking up the grenade with her left hand. 

“Duck!” she screamed, standing up and throwing the grenade back. There was a deafening explosion right near Hancock mixed with screaming as he dropped to the ground, covering his head. There was the smell of fresh blood and burning flesh as there was a sharp ring in his ears, but he turned around to make sure Jay was okay. To his horror, she was nowhere in sight, and the ghoul quickly scrambled to his feet with the desperate and primal need to find her. 

She couldn’t have been killed by the grenade. Jay wouldn’t let herself go by running out at the Knight and blowing up like a suicide bomber. She couldn’t do that, she just-

Hancock let out a sigh of relief when he saw her running up the stairs to face the few Railroad members that remained. He ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves before picking up his gun and quickly running after her. Jay could handle herself perfectly find without him covering her ass, but he felt much more comfortable to at least have the view. But as he approached her, there was a startling amount of blood on the floor and a few bodies scattered around. With his heart in his throat, Hancock hoped that the blood was from the bodies, but they showed a disheartening small amount of blood loss. 

Hancock rounded the corner and heard Jay’s tired and breathless voice communicating with what he assumed were the synths the Institute had sent her to retrieve. When he finally got her in his sight, he could’ve sworn his heart stopped. Jay was leaning on her left side, gripping her left arm right below the shoulder. Blood was dripping from her left hand’s fingers, and it was a startling amount. Hancock gasped and rushed forward, holstering his gun in pure panic. 

“I’m not gonna reset you. Get the hell out, and get the hell away,” Jay told the synths, who all looked at her as though she were a God. They all thanked her simultaneously and ran past her and Hancock. Jay turned to watch them leave, but when she saw Hancock she finally allowed herself to collapse. She fell and hit the wall, squeezing her eyes shut as she removed her hand. 

Her arm was barely even attached. It hung by a few tendons, and Hancock resisted the urge to puke. He’d seen worse, but not by far. He looked up at her in her eyes, and she took a deep breath. Anger replaced the fear that was coursing through his veins. “You could’ve died, blue!!! You  _ could  _ die!” he shouted, his heart racing faster than it ever had before. Jay had sustained plenty of injuries over the course of their companionship, but she would have to lose her arm, and even he wasn’t sure she could survive the blood loss she’d already sustained. Amputation would require time, but Jay was already cutting it close. He hoped the synths that had been behind him would arrive any time, or else the Institute would lose her, or else  _ he  _ would lose her. 

The full and sudden realization that Jay could die right in front of him was a fast, and brutal one. It hit him at once as he was staring at her tired and scared eyes, wide with agony and lost for words. Her hair was plastered across her face as sweat dripped down her skin as she tried to control her breathing, and her right hand was clenched in a fist. Simply put, she looked beautiful and holy even when death was about to claim her. And if this was the last time Hancock would see his sunshine, then he would savor every last breath. 

The ghoul reached over and took her free hand into his own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. She laughed the breathless kind of laugh that you hear when you get away with something you shouldn’t be doing, or when you get caught cold in a banned act. It was young and bold, like she was. And he smiled down at her. “Hang in there, blue,” he whispered, and she nodded, closing her eyes for a minute before reopening them up to face him. 

“Am I gonna die?” she asked, voice so incredibly small and quiet that Hancock lost sense of the rest of the world just for a minute. 

He tightened his grip on her hand, shaking his head. “Hell no. You’re my sunshine, you aint gonna stop shining, blue,” he murmured back, and she licked her dry lips, shaking her head. 

“I couldn’t let that grenade blow you up, Hancock. I couldn’t. I couldn’t let you die, even if it meant I did. I couldn’t. I wasn’t about to watch you die, not like I did with Nate. I wasn’t going to sit there and punch what separated me from you and lose you like I did Nate. No...no… I wasn’t going to lose one of the last things that I had,” she sobbed, tears beginning to stream down her face as she gripped his hand as though it were the only thing keeping her grounded. Hancock watched her throw her head back against the wall, looking up to the ceiling as though she was looking for God as her face twisted with anguish. “I couldn’t lose someone I loved again,” she whispered, voice barely above silence as her voice cracked and broke. 

Hancock would have flipped utter shit if the situation had been different and she admitted her love for him, but Jay was currently dying in front of his eyes and he could do nothing about it. The fact that Jay thought she would die and had nothing to lose tore Hancock apart as he watched her helplessly, eyes wide and mouth open with nothing to say. Jay watched him before looking down at the large puddle of blood staining the tile and her clothes. “You deserve to know,” she told him, almost as though she were speaking to herself. “There’s a letter hidden in my pillow back at Sanctuary. I...wrote it before we came out here.”

“You knew you were gonna die?” he asked, and the implications of what he said were not lost on her. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, ready to protest but her voice died on her lips. 

“I...I had a feeling,” she admitted, and Hancock’s expression immediately became cold and expressionless as he realized she hadn’t cared whether she lived or died. It explained her reckless behavior, her fear as they charged in her, and why she had stood up to the Knight with little thought. He felt sadness, fear and guilt grip him with an iron grip as he stared at her, and she smiled up at him, removing her hand from his as she reached up to hold his face. “You know...you’ve been good to me.”

“You’re not gonna die, blue. You’re not. I’m gonna be better to you, I’m gonna-”

“Miss Jay is here,” a robotic voice chipped in to Hancock’s side, and they both looked over in surprise. A number of synths stood in the hallway, and four held a gurney. Relief blossomed in Hancock’s chest as he smiled, laughing a happy chuckle. He looked over to Jay, and she looked upset and angry as she shook her head. 

“They...they weren’t supposed to help.  _ Goddammit.  _ GODDAMMIT!” Jay screamed, banging her head against the wall behind her. The relief was quickly replaced with fear and shock at the realization that Jay had been prepared to die, so prepared to the point she was upset she would not. She tried to get to her feet, stumbling around and Hancock caught her. Sobs wracked her body when he gripped her, holding her up. Blood stained his coat as she cried into his chest, the synths slowly pulling her away from him. She didn’t put up a fight, but she was extremely stiff as they helped her lay down. 

“Jay,” Hancock said abruptly, and said woman looked up at him. Jay’s eyes were bright red with sorrow and exhaustion, and she sniffled. “I love you too.” 

She disappeared in a ray of blue light, and Hancock was left with blood stains on his clothes, and the ring that belonged to the man who had been hers long ago. He stood there for a few silent moments before tucking the ring in his pocket, slowly walking through the mess of blood and bodies. 

The ghoul walked over to the Knight that had been responsible for Jay’s near death, and sat next to it, holding his head in his hands.

And for the first time in a number of years, Hancock sat there and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this,  
> PLEASE leave kudos  
> and/or  
> PLEASE leave a comment!  
> it helps motivate me SOOO much!!!  
> thank you for reading !!! <3


End file.
